After a prolonged period of non-contact with either his friends, fellow administrators at the Nullset, or even his family, Nullset webmaster and CEO Michael W. Malburg III has made his final pronouncement today in a press conference attended by no one. Its announcement was believed to be a feeble and sick joke, at the expense of a man believed by the world at large to be dead.  Malburg's statements were as follows:

"I would like to say that at 3:00 PM Eastern Standard Time today, I will order the Nullset headquarters complex here in Pensacola to be sealed for the final time.  I myself will be retreating into a sealed chamber a mile below the earth's crust, there to remain entombed for several centuries in a life-support device I have named the 'Golden Throne', where I will see to the furtherance of my World of Warcraft account and the cybernetic enhancement of my kitten, Nala, by a team of cyborg servitors.  When my computer finally dies of old age and the power sources in my subterranean hall give out, I plan to have developed my telepathic powers to a degree that I will be exhumed by paranormal investigators and declared the Immortal God-Emperor of Earth.

I bid you all a good day, and I join you in mourning the loss of my involvement in what had the potential to be the greatest humor website and blog of our era.  If only I could have been bothered to remember it once in a while, rather than leaving it imprisoned and slowly dying in the iron lung of sporadic, infrequent updates made by a lone admin exiled in a foreign country.  Thank-you, and goodbye - Level Omega 8 awaits my approach."

The Nullset's remaining staff, Administrators Kevin Gerhart and Jordan Racey, had the following comments.

"You know that was just an android copy that delivered that 'final press conference,' right?" said Racey in an emailed response.  "The real Mike was interred in the Golden Throne two months ago.  He gave up long before this."

Gerhart was much more agitated, reached via cellular phone from an undisclosed location on the U.S. interstate highway system.  "WHAT?  NO!  He can't do that!  I actually went somewhere and did something!  Outside of Mason County!  I took pictures and everything!  I was going to write an article!  With pictures!  And crap!"

Gerhart could then be heard screaming "KHAN!  YOU BLEW IT UP!  YOU BLEW IT ALL UP!"