In recent instant message conversations, it's come to our attention ('us' being the Great High Imperial Tribunal of Mike, Kevin, and Jordan) that most of our crew from days of yore has dispersed to the four winds.  So, in the spirit of remembrance and great big long lists, we present, to the best of our collective knowledge, where all our old compadres have gone.  If you didn't make the list, don't feel bad:  not everyone who rolls with us now on this site was a major player in our high school days.  It's not an insult; you just didn't exist at the time, that's all.

Carlson, Candace:

Current Location: Union, KY
Married/Single:  Got married to our good buddy Lee Nordine (see below) on June 19, 2004, and is now known as Candace Nordine.
Past Relation to Tribunal:  Close friend and good-natured recipient of much of our joking about.  The best prank target any guy could ever ask for, always there with a high-pitched scream of terror when you needed/wanted one.  One of the title characters in The Brotherhood’s breakout smash video single ‘Washington Avenue Girls,’ and also appeared as a member of the 'Blonde Squad' in 'Adam's Angels.'
Current Relation to Tribunal:  Went off to college, married Lee after, moved away.  All gone.  We neither see nor hear from her, except briefly this past Christmas.
Overall Current Status:  Married, so missing, presumed dead.

Desiderio, John "Desi":

Current Location:  Grand Rapids, MI
Married/Single:  Single
Past Relation to Tribunal:  The Tribunal's computer consultant, and close personal friend.  Existed only to hack into Mike's computer and otherwise websites, posting "Desi Wuz Here" messages in every place there was available disk space.
Current Relation to Tribunal:  Regular reader/commenter on the Nullset’s comment boards.  Existed only to hack into Mike's computer and otherwise websites, posting "Desi Wuz Here" messages in every place there was available disk space.
Overall Current Status:  Only exists in a very small way, as he posts only infrequently (though hilariously), usually to make fun of Mike's inferior webmastering abilities/coding, usually as 'Desi's $0.02'.

Duran, Carey:

Current Location:  Ludington, MI
Married/Single:  Married to Chris (nee Razminas) since May 2, 1998.  Many of the people on this list attended the wedding.  It was great to watch him live the dream, but all of us were thinking in the back of our minds (at least the guys): "Well, crap.  Now where are we gonna hang out on weekends?"  On a semi-serious note, Carey opened his home to us at practically every available opportunity for years and years, and we've never really thanked him for it.  The time is now.  Many and all possible props to Carey.  He was and is and shall remain the man.
Past Relation to Tribunal:  The Tribunal’s mentor, spiritual guide, and alpha geek since our junior high days.  The undisputed High Lord of the original Council of Funny, the Tribunal’s parent group.  Played the villain in both 'Batman' feature films, first as the laser-wielding, cloak-wearing, Saran Man, and then in an unforgettable turn as the completely-made-up-by-us Laughster.
Current Relation to Tribunal:  Regular reader/commenter on the Nullset’s comment boards.  Jordan saw him in January, before returning to England.  He is one of a select few that have posted articles besides the Tribunal.
Overall Current Status:  Married with three children and doing well, but he still exists in a small way, since we see him on the site quite often.

Ferguson, Adam:

Current Location:  Virginia Beach, VA
Married/Single:  Single as in unmarried, but no longer available.  Her name's Vanessa.  That's all we know.  Lucky putz.
Past Relation to Tribunal:  One of our homies.  More skills with the ladies than any of us, and he managed to even look good when losing his pants in wrestling matches with Barry (see below).  Adam is also the title character in 'Adam's Angels,' a 'Charlie's Angels' parody we made.
Current Relation to Tribunal:  None, sadly.  Once in a great while of a month of Sunday blue moons he will turn up on Jordan's AIM and say hello, and then scuttle bank into cyber-oblivion.  Along with his sister Chantal, he attended both Candace and Chad's (see below) weddings.
Overall Current Status:  So MIA we need a new acronym to describe just how MIA he is.  Not dead, but might as well be, unfortunately.

Ferguson, Chantal:

Current Location:  Grand Valley State University, Allendale, MI
Married/Single:  Single, we think.
Past Relation to Tribunal:  Another girl who actually hung out with us in high school.  A solid and good-humored prank target, with a scream to match Candace's.  We think it was the initial shock/fear/rage that sold her howls of discovery.  We would all like to apologize for the 'Fart Room' incident on the Chicago 1998 WABC missions trip...nah, never mind.  Chantal was one of the title characters in the 'Washington Avenue Girls' video released by The Brotherhood, and also appeared as a member of the 'Blonde Squad' in 'Adam's Angels.'
Current Relation to Tribunal:  Jordan claims to talk to her on AIM regularly, and he says she reads the site all the time.  Since he is a long-winded idiot on the other side of the globe, we tend to ignore him and anything he says.   Turned up at both Candace and Chad's (see below) weddings.  Has recently resurfaced to comment on Chad Schultz's latest article.
Overall Current Status:  Since she and Adam moved to Midland shortly after beginning college, we sadly don't see much of her anymore.  Used to exist mostly in Jordan's imagination, but her emergence on the site could point to a whole new era of interaction with us.

Gerhart, Kevin:

Current Location: Ludington, MI
Married/Single:  Still single, apparently waiting for Apocalypse to pop the question to very-very-intended fiancé Becky Young.
Past Relation to Tribunal:  Founding charter member of the Council of Funny and leader of The Brotherhood.  The technical genius behind practically ever video we've ever made, and the ones he wasn't involved in show it, in that they suck.  Kevin regularly proposed marriage/declared his undying love to most of the women on this list, sometimes to more than one of them at once.
Current Relation to Tribunal:  Member in good standing, administrator, and regular contributor to the Nullset.
Overall Current Status:  One of the crew, and the only one, he maintains, who has kept the faith and stayed in Mason County.

Henneman, Jessica:

Current Location:  Unknown
Married/Single:  We don't know this one either.  Jess could be married into the royal family of Outer Nowheresia and we wouldn't know.
Past Relation to Tribunal:  Another good friend of ours who arrived around the same time as Curtis Miller (see below) and the Fergusons.  She was one of the title characters in the 'Washington Avenue Girls' single released by The Brotherhood.  Jess was also a pretty good friend of Will's as well.
Current Relation to Tribunal:  None!  We can't find her!  She moved away sometime after Mike graduated from high school, and now none of us can find her.  Jordan saw her very briefly a couple summers ago, but he can't remember where or what the occasion was, because he's useless.  Mike reports he saw her one time in Family Video a couple years ago, but didn't realize it until after he left that it was her.  Sorry Jess!
Overall Current Status:  Really, really missing.  Like so missing we don't even want to make a joke about it.   

Highland, Blain:

Current Location:  Naval Sub Base King's Bay (USN), King's Bay, GA; lives nearby in Jacksonville, FL
Married/Single:  Single(?), but he claims to maintain a harem of attractive women.
Past Relation to Tribunal:  A homie of Jordan and Curtis' initially through the LHS Quiz Bowl team, and then everyone else's homie when he and his fam began attending WABC.  Blain became a frequent accomplice to our silliness and had the honor of joining the now-legendary puppet team of Chad, Mike, and Jordan during their second tour in Chatanooga, TN.  Then he graduated and joined the Navy after watching that Simpsons episode and we never saw him again, except when he came home on leave.
Current Relation to Tribunal:  Blain posts very, very infrequently on the site, and Jordan hears from him only slightly more frequently via instant messaging.
Overall Current Status:  Missing, presumed dead, and all those girls he claims to have make him officially resented.

Malburg, Mike:

Current Location: The Imperial Kingdom of Lower Alabama - unit #---- of Park Place Apartments in Orange Beach, AL.  Mike still pays 'tribute monies' to the U.S. Internal Revenue Service as 'an international courtesy.'
Married/Single: Married to a level 46 mage in World of Warcraft... Er...single, that is.
Past Relation to Tribunal: Founding charter member of both the Council of Funny and the Brotherhood, and pretty much the guy who everyone makes fun of to make themselves feel better.  Started doing some computer programming after the Great Kevinie made a sweet virus in QBASIC on the Nelsons' computer (see below), nearly inducing cardiac arrest on Mrs. Nelson.  Performed in "Washington Avenue Girls" as a member of The Brotherhood, where he pretended to play rhythm guitar.
Current Relation to Tribunal: Founder, contributer and webmaster of the Nullset, and member in good standing of the Tribunal.
Overall Current Status: Moved to Alabama to be with computers.  Is currently in the middle of a job change and may move to Florida soon to be with computers in his new job there.

McCauley, Audrey:

Current Location:  Somewhere in Texas, San Antonio area.  Possibly.
Married/Single:  Married to Alehandro 'Al' Buriticia since a while ago.
Past Relation to Tribunal:  One of Kevin and Jordan's old pals, whom they met through Candace.  Mike claims that we had him chained in a dank hole at the time to prevent him from hanging out with us or ever meeting any of our friends.  The only girl on this list to ever have a speaking role in the now-legendary 'Batman' film series, as Ludington news anchor Danielle Rathernot.
Current Relation to Tribunal:  We saw her at Candace's wedding last summer.  Due to Jordan's barnacle-like attachment to the Nordine family, he actually hung out with her a little, playing a game called 'Dutch Blitz' that he swears was invented by deranged Hope and Calvin graduates.
Overall Current Status:  Married, moved a long way away, never comments here on the site, so missing, presumed dead.

Miller, Curtis:

Current Location: Harvard University, Cambridge, MA
Married/Single:  Not married, but firmly attached to long-time gal-pal Cecily, who Jordan claims to have spoken with via phone once.
Past Relation to Tribunal:  The smartest of any of our homies, past or present, hands down.  And a durn good guy to boot.  He came later to the party, but that doesn't mean he didn't rock and/or roll all night.  Curtis was hilarious as the film-hijacking Mad Trumpeter in 'The Words Are Not Enough,' especially in the scene where he defended himself from Barry 'The Blue Ninja' Teshima's carpet sweeper attack with a carpet sample and immediately began screaming in agony.  Was one of two people with whom Jordan chose to spend all of his time in the summer of '03 and ignore Kevin completely (see also Will Nordine).
Current Relation to Tribunal:  Gone off to Harvard to be all smart.  His mum and dad moved to Texas because the Dow Chemical Company said so.  Curtis gets back when he can, which ain't very often.  Jordan saw him last summer.  He is one of a select few that have posted articles besides the Tribunal.  During the summer of 2003, he, Jordan, and Will were known as 'The Three Amigos,' inspired by the Steve Martin/Chevy Chase/Martin Short film of the same name.
Overall Current Status:  Does post fairly frequently on the site, so even though he no longer physically exists, Curtis is still out there and we still hear from him.

Nelson, Erika:

Current Location:  Jerusalem University College, Jerusalem, State of Israel
Married/Single:  Engaged, to Brian Van Haitsma of Grand Rapids, MI.  Soon she will join the ranks of the fallen.  Each month, there are fewer of us left.
Past Relation to Tribunal:  Wow.  What can we say about Erika?  She was our good compadre.  She had more patience for our antics than anyone we've ever seen.  She obligingly screamed like, well, a girl when we would pull one of our stunts.  Erika was also one of the title characters in The Brotherhood's 'Washington Avenue Girls' video and an Object of Kevin's Affection, one that he tried to win over even after he began dating Becky.  Finally, Erika's basement saw the creation of that august body, the Council of Funny, whose existence can be viewed as a direct precedent of this website.
Current Relation to Tribunal:  Erika went off to Jerusalem to dodge bullets and get her Masters of Divinity degree.  She also is apparently too good to learn to use an instant messaging program or log on to our site.  We miss her.  We hung out with her a few times last summer, but she apparently was off in Grand Rapids a lot, for some strange reason.
Overall Current Status:  Erika does not really exist in any way that we can communicate with, except as an email address.  Soon, we will have to update her to married, and thus missing, presumed dead.

Nelson, Jenna:

Current Location:  Soldotna, AK (currently taking time off from studies at Palm Beach Atlantic University, West Palm Beach, FL, to help her sister Veronica with childcare.  Technically lives in Ludington.)
Married/Single:  Single, we think.
Past Relation to Tribunal:  Erika's long-suffering younger sister who put up with just as much of our crap while simultaneously being denied the dubious 'pleasure' of hanging out with us.  Then she grew up and we found out she was just as cool as Erika and didn't share her elder sister's compunction about punching people, especially us.  So things changed a bit, especially when she became an Object of Kevin's Affection.  Then she 'convinced' him to stop calling after a while.
Current Relation to Tribunal:  She at least shows up semi-frequently on Jordan and Kevin's Trillian windows, but has never publicly appeared in the Nullset comment boards.  But she tends to be changing a lot of diapers in Alaska at the moment, so we can see how she might be busy (except for Kevin, who does not accept this 'excuse' and apparently believes that even infants can be made to be silent and obedient with enough corporal punishment.)
Overall Current Status:  Exists a little, but is usually a long way away from any of us.

Nordine, Lee:

Current Location:  Union, KY
Married/Single:  Married to Candace (nee Carlson) since June 19, 2004.
Past Relation to Tribunal:  One of our good friends.  The best missions trip video random comment guy of all time, bar none.  Provided technical assistance in our many video projects, and was brought in to assist with the top-secret abortive Brotherhood single ‘Kevin’s Large Wife.’  No, no one will ever see it.  It doesn't exist.  Forget we said anything.
Current Relation to Tribunal:  Married and long gone.  We saw him this past Christmas, briefly.
Overall Current Status:  Married; so missing, presumed dead.

Nordine, Will:

Current Location:  Calvin College, Grand Rapids, MI (still goes home to Ludington)
Married/Single:  Single.
Past Relation to Tribunal:  A close friend of Jordan's who he kept dragging to parties and get-togethers, Will became a friend of everyone else sort of by default.  Will was (and still is) the kind of person who appears to be completely uninteresting by dint of never saying anything much, and then cutting loose with wacky abandon when among those who know him.  This frustrated Jordan to no end, especially when he would crow about whatever awesome thing Will had done/said and Will would deny everything in public, if in fact he could be bothered to speak.  Was one of two people with whom Jordan chose to spend all of his time in the summer of '03 and ignore Kevin completely (see also Curtis Miller).     
Current Relation to Tribunal:  Will shows up in Ludington whenever Calvin College is not in session, and spends nearly the whole of his time hanging out with the Tribunal - primarily Jordan.  This aggravates Kevin immensely, due to a combination of lingering resentment from the summer of '03 and the fact that it complicates his standard entertainment plans of telling Jordan to come to his apartment, berating him for being late, and then ignoring him by wandering off to his bedroom to play Microsoft Flight Sim 2004.  Will is also the inventor of a comedic technique known as the Horrible Fake Laugh, in which he falsifies hysterical laughter/wheezing and proceeds to explain the jokes someone else has just made and how they function in a comic fashion, usually prefaced with the words 'IT'S FUNNY, BECAUSE...'  The Horrible Fake Laugh has been adopted by each member of the Tribunal and has both appeared on this site and in the ears of virtually everyone on this list.  However, he neither visits or posts on this site, nor does he email or IM anyone on this list during scholastic session, and can be said not to exist during those times.
Overall Current Status:  Will only exists when Calvin is not holding its academic sessions.  He does not exist as part of the Nullset community and only goes there when Jordan tells him to look at something.

Peters, Caleb:

Current Location:  Ludington, MI
Married/Single:  Single, we think.
Past Relation to Tribunal:  Caleb knew most of us in high school, hung out with the Victory Baptist youth group, and thus was a part of our extended crowd.  He was a cool if rather taciturn character (much like Will Nordine) and became temporarily famous as a character in Jordan Racey's ill-planned cult comic book hit Minty Breath Boy, as the infamous Indifferent Cardboard Box.  After Jordan graduated from college, he sat on his worthless lazy butt for a year and caught up with Caleb again.  They began regularly hanging out again and playing the table-top roleplaying game RIFTS along with Charlie Thompson and other readers of this site.
Current Relation to Tribunal:  Jordan still hangs out with Caleb when he goes home, and Caleb plans to come visit him in the UK along with Charlie.  Caleb also posts rather sporadically on the site and IMs Jordan fairly regularly, and thus exists in a small way.
Overall Current Status:  Exists, but just a bit.

Racey, Jordan:

Current Location:  University of York, York, United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland
Married/Single:  Single – thus far over twenty-five women have killed themselves or fled the country under an assumed name to avoid dating him.
Past Relation to Tribunal:  Founding charter member of the Council of Funny, and of The Brotherhood.  Member of Tribunal since its inception.  Played bad Casanova Frankenstein-ripoff Dr. Foo Man Hoo in 'Adam's Angels,' lethal and angry assassin Octavian Xenophobe in 'The Words Are Not Enough,' and himself in the little-seen 'The Adventure.'  Performed in the Brotherhood's aforementioned video, where he pretended to play the bass.
Current Relation to Tribunal:  Member in good standing, administrator and regular contributor to the Nullset.
Overall Current Status:  Removed from United States, but remains a full and functional member, except to Kevin, who hates him for leaving Mason County.

Riemer, Rachel:

Current Location:  Illinois, at one of the Loyola Medical Schools, but we can't remember if it's the Chicago one or not.
Married/Single:  The last time any of us saw Rachel in church she appeared to have a boyfriend in tow, but they left before we could greet her or beat the guy up for stealing one of our girls.  It could be the brass knux and lead pipes we were carrying, but who knows? 
Past Relation to Tribunal:  Rachel caught up with us in 1999 when her family started attending WABC.  She knew Candace, but it wasn't long before she got to know the rest of us, and it was all downhill from there.  We never hassled Rachel quite as much as the other girls on this list, nor did Kevin flirt with her quite as much, mostly because she is one of the physically strongest people we've met in a long time and, well, you get the picture.  She was a good buddy of ours all through college.  Rachel also appeared as a member of the 'Blonde Squad' in 'Adam's Angels.'
Current Relation to Tribunal:  None, sadly.  Rachel's means of internet-based contact are unknown to us.  She does not appear to be aware of this website, if indeed she exists at all.
Overall Current Status:  Missing, presumed dead.

Scholtens, Russell:

Current Location:  Scottville, MI
Married/Single:  Married for a couple of years now to a lady named Arin.  That's all we can recall.  Jordan and Will attended Russ' wedding, but they don't remember much, owing to a lifetime of caffeine abuse.
Past Relation to Tribunal:  Russ was a guy we didn't see enough of.  Our youth group started doing things with his youth group about halfway through high school and never looked back.  Russ introduced us to guys like Kyle Hansen and Dan Best, both of whom have vanished even more than he has.  But, Russ' single greatest contribution to our high school days was his creation of the legendary 'Big Man Parties,' events whose names are spoken with awe even to this day.  They were mighty gatherings of maleness deep in the woods, where there was hardcore Capture the Flag, late-night videogames and movies, enough food to kill a Marine battalion, the loudest sound system ever stuffed into a small cabin, and some of the funniest moments of our youth.  Most of the guys on this list attended at least one Big Man Party.
Current Relation to Tribunal:  None.  Russ got married and has his own life, just like all the others who did.  Jordan saw him very briefly before leaving for school in October '04.
Overall Current Status:  Married; missing, presumed dead.

Schultz, Chad:

Current Location:  Mears, MI
Married/Single:  Very, very married to Sara (nee Fisher) as of Novemeber 20, 2004.
Past Relation to Tribunal:  One of our best homies of all time.  A member of the Brotherhood and a founding charter member of the Council of Funny.  Sat on the original incarnation of the Tribunal, a short-lived resurrection of the Council, which we held for about 6 hours on a long youth group bus trip.  We mourn his loss every day, except for Kevin, who made a little voodoo doll of Chad and uses it regularly.  For more of the Chad's mighty deeds, see Chad Gets Married - Brotherhood Mourns Loss.  However, we must point out that he was Batman in 'Batman,' 'Batman Again,' and 'Adam's Angels.'  And MI6 agent 'Billy Bob' in 'The Words Are Not Enough.'  And himself in the little-viewed video known as 'The Adventure.'  He was also in 'Washington Avenue Girls' as a backing vocalist and pretend keyboard player.
Current Relation to Tribunal:  We see him maybe once every six months, usually in blizzards when he makes a wrong turn coming back from work and ends up in Ludington by mistake.  He is one of a select few that have posted articles besides the Tribunal, and his most recent publication was a big hit.
Overall Current Status:  Married; thus missing, presumed dead.  However, his periodic appearances (usually to pretty devastatingly amusing effect) suggest we should update him to 'undead,' and we suspect he'd be pretty happy to know that we consider him a zombie.

Skinner, Aaron:

Current Location:  Lynchburg, VA
Married/Single:  Single?  Married?  Married six times?  Maintains a harem in Atlanta?  Who knows?
Past Relation to Tribunal:  Alas, poor Aaron.  We knew him well...and then he moved to Virginia at the end of summer '99.  But up to that point he was a pretty good friend of ours, performing both as a member of the Brotherhood and twisting the mannerisms of Burt Ward to create his now-legendary performance as Robin, Batman's erstwhile, bombastic sidekick.  (Best line:  "Holy gaseous green mushroom clouds, Batman, couldn't you hold it?"). He turned in a classic and be-wigged performance in the little-known cinematic gem 'The Words Are Not Enough' as the lead villain, 'Dr. Verbose.  He was also the only member of the Brotherhood who could actually sing or play any instruments, and the group disbanded after his move south.  He did all the actual music in the video.  Aaron was the band stereotype known as 'The Talent.'
Current Relation to Tribunal:  Virtually non-existent.  He came to visit a few Christmases ago and hasn't been back since, although he sporadically bemoans his existential state of non-existence on the site, so he actually exists now - er, somewhat.
Overall Current Status:  Jordan and Erika have turned up more frequently, and they have vacated the Western Hemisphere.  However, Aaron does actually post on the site, and so his existence seems to be increasing day by day (insert dc Talk music in background).

Teshima, Barry:

Current Location:  Grand Rapids, MI
Married/Single:  Single, single, single; a fact that the eligible ladies of west Michigan wake up thankful for every day.
Past Relation to Tribunal:  A good friend of ours:  a mighty wrestler, mighty funny, and just plain mighty.  Barry had a talent for using lines that no one else could possibly succeed with and making them hilarious.  He also began to hold mighty manly New Year's overnight parties at his cabin out in the woods of Branch sometime after the Big Man Parties ended, and for a time, the spirit of testosterone resurfaced and we all gathered in the forest once again to do deeds of incredible masculinity.  He also appeared in the film 'The Words Are Not Enough' in a co-starring role as 'The Blue Ninja.'
Current Relation to Tribunal:  Pretty slim, sadly.  Jordan was the only one to turn up at this year's mighty New Year's party.  He saw Barry, though, and claims that he's pretty much the same as ever.
Overall Current Status:  Unfortunately, aside from his rare appearances in the flesh, we have nothing to suggest that Barry might still exist.  Missing, presumed dead.

So there you have it.  An epic record of what happened to the Tribunal's high school friends, as near as we can figure.  Some of them we see a lot.  Others have vanished.  All meant something in their own way to us back in the day, but as Kevin usually puts it:  "Do they live in Mason County?  Do they go to Cornerstone?  Can I see them on a regular basis without putting forth anymore effort than usual?

If the answer to any of those questions is 'no,' then I don't miss them that much."

Er, yeah.  That's great, Kevin.  That's not at all what we meant to say.  We miss you guys and stuff.  Don't listen to him.  Yeah.

(NOTE TO PEOPLE WHO FOOLISHLY THINK WE PAY ATTENTION TO SUGGESTIONS:  We will not alter this article to update people's contact info/status, because part of its comic structure is a contrived effort to appear callous and uncaring about the fates of several people whom we all cared for quite a bit.  Y'know, that whole irony slam.  If you have updates on people we believe to be dead, feel free to post them in the comment boards, but we will not add them to this article.  Several years from now when we feel like doing this again - we'll have a look.  Maybe.

Your opinions matter to us here at the Nullset, but only a little.)