I am what I would consider an amateur geek of nigh-professional standing.  I can't claim to be a professional because I don't yet get paid to do geeky things, as opposed to, say, Kevin.  Neither is Charlie, although it's possible he does even more geeky things than me (GMing a RIFTS campaign, playing multiple MMORPGs, building computers, etc).

But both of us have played enough RPGs with pen-and-paper and on varying computers and consoles that we've learned a good deal about mythology, career paths, selective morality, and among other things, real life.  Thus, in the spirit of that "All I Ever Needed To Know, I Learned in Kindergarten" poster, we present "Everything I Ever Needed To Know, I Learned From RPGs."

- The undead multiply like crazy anywhere there's a lot of standing water and saturated ground.  You would think this would induce bacterial growth and speed up the decomposition process, but all it seems to do is produce more of the nasty buggers.

- There is no problem that cannot be solved by heading down to the local drinking establishment and hiring a team of 'specialists' from among whoever happens to be there.  Bearded midgets with axes, hulking giants with furry loincloths, and skinny old men leaning on sticks are particularly useful.  So are metrosexuals with bows.

- Pubs, bars, inns, taverns, and every other sort of common meeting/drinking/eating house are presided over either by a gruff old coot who keeps an amazing, out-of-place, and highly illegal weapon under the bar, or a voluptous, exceedingly attractive girly-girl who nevertheless has a punch like Evander Holyfield.

- You will only get arrested for participating in a bar brawl if you are defeated in the fight.

- Abstract qualities of mind such as religious faith, purity of heart, zeal, devotion, anger, hatred, and communion with one's dead ancestors manifest around the owner in a brightly colored pattern and often attach to their nearby friends.

- Death is rarely, if ever, the end.  Any qualified religious professional can undo it, for a price.  The hard part is ensuring that your friends manage to police up (and give back) all of your personal effects.

- The effects of catastrophic injury, poisioning, burns, frostbite, disease, and having bits of one's lifeforce ripped out can be easily and simply undone by consuming foods like bread or meat, or by drinking a vial(s) of a red Kool-Aid-like substance.  No observable side effects have ever been recorded following this program of medical treatment, and all participants have made complete and total recovery.

- Those who are trained for it can often do battle with the forces of evil indefinitely, requiring neither physical or mental rest.

- When talking with people, always remember the three types of reponses:  good, neutral, and evil.  But beware - once you start down a conversational road, forever will it dominate your destiny.

- The best arms dealers in the world are all under 5' 2".  Period.

- About the only thing law enforcement will ever attempt to arrest you for is randomly attacking people in the street.  As long as you cross the town border before being apprehended or 'sworded while trying to escape,' you will have no criminal record in that area.

- People not involved in major military struggles/campaigns, such as cooks, innkeepers, and shopkeepers, are often invulnerable to all types of attack, physical or otherwise.  Strangely, they do not participate in the aforementioned struggles and regularly speak of their unwillingness/unfitness for duty. 

NB:  This generally also applies to anything you may have to rescue/escort to safety, including prisoners of war, hostages, kittens, princesses, useless annoying people who possess useless information.  This NEVER applies to slow-moving vehicles that contain supplies that you will never use.

- Break everything.  There are always good things inside.

- Feel free to eat any foodstuffs you might find lying randomly on the ground, unless they glow a sickly green.

- The vast majority of the items you will use in your daily life will not be purchased commercially, but rather taken from the corpses of fallen enemies, particularly belligerent forms of wildlife.  This can become rather puzziling, especially in instances such as when a small spider produces a full suit of plate armor.  It is believed that such items are stored in the rectal cavity, and has led to some scientific speculation asserting that the rectal cavities of evil and violent lifeforms possess an extradimensional linkage to a plane of plunder and swag.

- No one will ever mind if you walk into their home, talk to them, and move through the house, opening/smashing every available container in search of things you can take/sell.

- The black market is usually conducted out on open street corners in broad daylight, and maintains operations in every known corner of the world.

That's about all.  We'll do another one (maybe) if we think of enough stuff.  If you or someone you know have any good suggestions email us or stick 'em in the comment boards.  It's not as though we can prevent you from doing either.