Nullset Webmaster and CEO Michael W. Malburg III announced that he has finally named his new kitten, which he adopted approximately two weeks ago.  The kitten, newly christened 'Nala,' is a welcome addition to Malburg's rather sad and empty life, and has effectively doubled the membership of his household.  Nala exhibits a great deal of energy, which she primarily applies toward the execution of typical kitten activities, such as sleeping, chasing bugs/birds/squirrels/chipmunks/laser pointer dots/stuff on the TV/anything that moves suddenly, and most disturbingly, physically attacking him, often during his sleep.

"I'm pretty much terrified by the entire concept of going to bed," said Malburg.  "I mean, I'll be lying there, dead asleep, and then I'll feel this series of tiny, very sharp pressures on my foot, which I was waving around in my sleep or something.  And I look down and there's Nala, locked on my foot in a death grip, going at me with all four legs and her teeth."

"Now I pretty much just stay up all night on a combination of Mountain Dew, No-Doz, Bawlz energy drink, and sheer hysterical fear for my life."

Malburg has also related fears that Nala may in fact be more than she appears.

"I don't know, man, I think she might be a ninja or something," he said.  "The amazing physical abilities and reflexes, stalking skills, silent movement and near-instinctive penchant for unarmed combat have me thinking she could very well be a member of a secretive and lethal clan of ancient Japanese assassins.  She'd be a ninja with a fatal weakness for yarn balls and catnip, but a ninja nonetheless."

"Or, Nala could even be a tiny human ninja piloting a highly sophisticated kittenoid assault stealth suit.  That would explain why she has ninja-like reflexes and abilities and is constantly trying to kill my foot!  Of course, the suit would have to be super-advanced and fueled by cat food, and probably pre-programmed with a variety of real kitten behavior, and..."

At this point, Malburg retreated fearfully to his computer room, claiming "Sometimes she does this yoko aruki stealth maneuver and ambushes me in the hallway...I'll just be walking along and BAM!  Suddenly she's on my leg and it's bite, bite, bite!"  Whimpering, Malburg then fled down his apartment hallway, looking over his shoulder every few seconds.

Meanwhile, Nala remained on Malburg's couch, fast asleep next to a pillow.

Nala's primary care physician, vetinarian Dr. Frank Lee, had the following statement:  "I am no psychiatrist, but I am concerned for Mr. Malburg's continued mental health.  He asked me to search Nala for tiny ninjas inside her abdominal cavity when he brought her in to be spayed.  I spent over an hour reassuring him that I couldn't find any people inside his kitten, let alone tiny Japanese traditional assassins."